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Saturday, February 26, 2011

my bestie:)


bisingnye!!!
ish...ish..
142G 
please!!!!!!!!!!!!shut up!!!
sampi asrama lelaki dengar suare korang(konon nye la)
eh,kitaorang bahagia  laa...
asal ??? jeles erk??
lantak korang la..tue hal korang...





cabi : kamu V.V.I.P di hati saye...:)



alia: sayang korang sumer..muaahhh!



qina: sayang jugewlah..(aku kan selau xde ngan korang)


kak jo: sayang korang sangat-sangat!!



sihah: saye sayang kawan saye.142 G!!


zira : saya sayang kamu sumer!


e'ah: i lurve u all damn much!!

p/s: forever in love..:)

C.I.N.T.A.

sepanjang aku knl knl kamu..

ape yang aku nampak hidup kamu semuanya berkisarkan tentaNG CINTA..

kamu gembira kerana CINTA...

kamu sedih kerana CINTA...

kamu keliru kerna CINTA..

boleh dikataan semaunya kerna CINTA...



kadang2 aku simpati melihat kamu..

tapi kadang2 aku merasa jelik melihat kamu..

kamu membuatkan aku terfikir,

 CINTA terhadap manusia kamu akan mati??????
apa pun aku akan mendoakan semoga pernantian kamu terhadap cinta idaman mu akan berakhir dengan kegembiraan...

amin!!!





return of winter.

I woke up early morning, and there was fairy view outside the window. Everything was covered with fresh white snow. I knew it want be long, because the  temperature was about zero. But I managed to catch something of that beauty.I woke up early morning, and there was fairy view outside the window. Everything was covered with fresh white snow. I knew it want be long, because the  temperature was about zero. But I managed to catch something of that beauty



i'm stiil ask who am i?

who am i??
why i'm stand here now?
and why i must stand on my own life?
i'm still a child that don't know anythings
mom help me.. i don't know what happen right now..
please be at my side,,
i'm hurt..it's pain..
please mom...throw me away on this all
ican't stand on my own..
i'm going to hell...
i'm lonely,,i'n stress..
mom..i'm in smoke,,i'm in drunk...
i'm sorry mom..ican't be a good daughter for you..
but i'm still want to be in good job..
but how mom???
i need you now mom..
he's gone and leave me again..
i can't get him again..i can't stop him..
he choose his own way...
i'm sorry mom..
i promise to you..
i get better...from today!!
please give me support...

Monday, February 21, 2011

he move on

I know that I don't blog here anymore, but I wanted to publish this somewhere. If you happen to read it, leave a comment if you like. I'll try to check back in sometime soon. This is more for me I guess.

_____________________________

FRIENDS MOVE ON

Wow. I don’t know where to start.

All I know is that I have an empty place inside of me. I can actually feel it physically and it is a sad, sad feeling.

I made a friend, or rather a buddy, a few weeks ago. He was everything I wanted in someone to pal around with.

Funny. We laughed constantly. He is a comedian. Not a pro (yet). But he will be if that is what he wants. He made up comic bits on the fly and I couldn’t quit laughing. Keeping me entertained is no easy thing. But he could make me laugh for days. Literally.

Talented. He plays acoustic guitar, writes his own songs, and sings so well it makes me all googley eyed.. You see, I am enthralled with men with that kind of talent. It is rare to find and it is one of the things that I love to have in my life. I miss hearing him play his clever, sweet and funny songs. I miss hearing him sing. I miss the way he smiles when he is playing and singing something amusing. It is heart-wrenching. There are a lot of musicians out there with a similar talent, but no one who captured my imagination like he did.

Sincere. We talked a lot about ourselves during our short friendship. I learned about his life so far, about what he is looking for in a girlfriend, about his dreams for the future. And I opened up with a few things about myself. And he listened. How rare is that?

Cuddle-able. One of the things I miss most about being separated from my husband is not having someone to lay down and cuddle with. My friend and I never had sex or anything close to it. We would just lay in bed and laugh and spoon each other or I would lay my head on his chest. It was so wonderful and comforting and it felt so good.

I miss him so much it makes me cry. And I have selfishly cried over my loss many times. I know that he never imagined that I would value our friendship so much. And truthfully, until it was gone I didn’t imagine it either. It’s like he crashed into my life, filled it up with himself, and then left it empty when he moved out of my life. He is so charismatic that he probably makes most people feel that way.

He tells me that we will still get together now and then. But he is busy and has moved ahead and I am so happy for him. I truly am.

He landed a great job working nights. At a comedy club no less. That way he can still go to school and get his degree. But it means no more music or tequila on the porch or staying up all night talking and laughing or cuddling.

He found a girlfriend who he is crazy about and makes him happy. He told me that when they are alone, they cook, watch movies, hang out. He sounds so happy to have found her. And I am glad that he did. But it means no more music or tequila on the porch or staying up all night talking and laughing or cuddling.

He asked me once why women hold on for so long. I told him that we were like puppies. If you are nice to us, we will desperately want to follow you home. It’s ironic isn’t it? I just never imagined myself as one of those puppies left on the side of the road crying longingly as I watched him move away.

It is said that people come into your life for a purpose. And there is a reason that they move out of your life.

Whatever the reason, I miss him.

I miss him.

I miss him.

I miss him.

I miss him.
----------------------------------------
Good luck, boy. I wish you only the best. Keep moving forward.
Maybe we’ll have a few shots of tequila sometime. I’ll buy.

they everything 4 me.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

I'm so very sad.

He hates me.

Nothing but a friend.

Had a misunderstanding.

Can't straighten it out.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

Wish I didn't.

Hate him sometimes.

I miss my friend so much.

Trying to hate him more.

I miss my friend so much.

Makes it easier to move on.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

I hate myself for doing whatever I did.

I miss my friend so much.

Will just keep crying I guess.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.

I miss my friend so much.



i miss my old life

I am constantly fighting demons. i miss my old life.

Joe and I divorced over a year ago. And the loss is bone-crushingly, heart-breakingly the end of the best part of my life.

People tell me, "You'll meet someone else." But right now, I don't want to. I want to stay in my little home and live with myself.

It's too hard, too gut-wrenching to put myself out there. I've done it a few times, and all I've gotten were more broken hearts. And my heart has taken all it can stand right now.

I miss having someone who loves me, who takes care of me, who makes me laugh, who will snuggle with me, and who understands me. 

We built a life together and now it's gone.

We built our dream home where we planned to live out the rest of our lives, and now it's gone.

He's moved on and I tell myself I'm happy for him. But I'm also hurt. He gave me emotional security, a feeling that I was worth something, the illusion that I was beautiful, a sense of financial security, and the encouragement to carry on. Now all of it is gone.

We had very difficult times, but I suppose all marriages do. Why didn't I work harder at it? Why didn't he work harder at it?

I truly believe that the connection we had was a once in a lifetime event. But I...we...threw it all away like the previous 5 years did not matter.

My soul-mate, my best friend, my biggest supporter. And I believe if you ask him, he will say the same things about me.

When I just gave up on our marriage, I gave up on everything good in my life.

And I will never be able to recapture that again. How sad.

Like I've said before, it was like getting this beautiful gift from God and just throwing it back in his face.

As she solemnly and sincerely said to me on the sitcom "Cheers"... Have a good life.

 you are truly one of the really good people on this earth. I was privileged to be a part of your life.



Saturday, February 19, 2011

MY MOM BERDAY!

ikhlas uawt mama tercinta:-

NUR ZUBAIDAH BINTI CHE MOHD

mama hepy berday sayang!!!
i lurve u mama...
mama..thanxs 4 evrythings..
maafkan anakmu ini kerana xdapat menyambut hari kelahiran disampingmu..
angah selalu merindui mama katsini..
mama jage diri katsane..jangan uawt keje berat2...
yew sayang,,nanti sakit..
tunggu angah balik ye mama..lurve u so much mama.! ! !





Wednesday, February 16, 2011

our jouney today!

best juak blik jalan kaki dari kolej ngan budak2 nie...
bapak sakit kaki jalan jauh lak jugak..
tapi memory bersame tetap adew kan???
cabi saye suke tgok muke awak bile awak tgok adew anjing..hhuhu..
ziera saye taw awak marah kat motor yg hampir nk langgar awak...bodo betol motor tue..tapi lau die langgar pasti mtor dye xcdere kan?? akak..tau la suke balik jalan kaki..muke excited gler...hahahaha..
mekya..pembantu arah jalan...teragak2 nk lalu jalan mne..mklumlah first time blik jalan kaki ngan budak2..umah...sihah..da dapat kol free..anjing kat depan mate pun da tak takut..dashyat beto minah nie...
aku lak sebagai pemandu arah jalan...wat2 berani wlpun dalam kepale takot kne kejar ngan anjing..
tp diarunk xtaw..hahahaha...tapi korag! best sangat2 blik same2..:)










Monday, February 14, 2011

JPAM TERBAEK!

date: 13 febuari 2011
location : pantai puteri,melaka
mood : best doe!!!


pada tarikh yang tertera aku n kwan2 ke pantai puteri tok menjalani latihan tali tinngi...
first2 naek terase gentar kot..tapi bile da sekali wat tue terase nk lagi...mencabar la jugak kentinggianya tue...
have fun sgt2 jpam aritue..lurve it!!!

disini disertakan pic2 yang telah diambil ketika menjalani latihan:)

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p/s : saye nak yang mencabar lagi!

raining


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